Stevenisms: 6-20-01

monday, i was upset when i got home that scott didn't pick steven up and he hadn't done any housework. tuesday, when i got home, gina called and asked scott what he was doing. he told her he cooked waffles for me, a hot dog for steven, was marinating chicken, running the dishwasher, and cutting up cantaloupe. steven leaned over to me and whispered, "scott's not lazy any more, huh?"

lately, i'm always telling steven how parker is eating my food or if i am craving something i say that parker wants it. when i was eating cantaloupe, steven said, "does parker like cantaloupe?" i said that he did like it because it is nutritious. steven said, "well, when i was in your tummy, you didn't eat peas." i asked why he said that. he replied, "because i don't like peas."

after steven made the comment about peas, i shared what he said with scott. steven said, "i told you to quit telling people what i say. it gives me a headache." he is also irritated that i always laugh at things he said. he wants to know what is funny about it. try to imagine my attempts to explain.  

Stevenisms: 6-19-01

steven had to have blood drawn today. it was traumatic. he screamed and fought and turned all red. as they are drawing the blood, he screamed, "this is not okay! it doesn't hurt really bad, but it hurts too bad!" when they were done, he wanted to see the vile of blood. he was fascinated and kept asking me if we could have it. i said that they had to test it. he asked if we could get it after that. i said that they would dispose of it. he really wanted that vile of his blood, but he never suggested getting another vile.

we took a toy motorcycle to a co-worker who was hospitalized after a motorcycle accident. we told him that it was the safety version. steven was terribly jealous that he couldn't have the toy. when we approached the hospital today, he asked if it was the same hospital where we took the toy motorcycle to my co-worker. i said that it was. he asked if jodi was still there. i said that he was better and back at work. steven asked where he slept. i said that while he was in the hospital he slept in a hospital bed but when he got out he went back to sleeping in his bed. steven asked where the guy lived. i said that he lived in swansea. steven asked if that was another city. i said that it was. then he asked how he got to this hospital. i said that it was a big hospital and lots of people go there when they are hurt. he asked if the guy was still playing with the motorcycle. when i got to work i asked jodi if he still played with the motorcycle. he said that he played with it a while, but then he wrecked it and quit playing with it.

when jodi was in the hospital, i had the task of sending him flowers from the company. the florist asked if i wanted the card to say get well soon. since he had a head injury, i told them to put 'your head is not as hard as we thought.' when the neurologist asked jodi how he felt, jodi replied, 'with my fingers.'

little boy and father overheard in a restaurant bathroom:

boy: who is that man out there?

father: the maitre de. (pardon my french, lack there of)

boy: what does he do?

father: he seats people for his living.

boy: if he stops seating people, will he die?

darn, wish i could attribute that one to steven. don't you dare begin to think he isn't the cutest kid in the world. he is the cutest, the rest just have their moments.  

Stevenisms: 6-18-01

we went to tennessee this past weekend for scott's cousin kate's wedding. scott's mom told us that his cousin cindy and her husband had to leave suddenly because her husband's father died. her husband's name is also scott. when we were discussing it in front of steven, steven looked shocked and said, "scott had a present for his dad. a golf ball and some tees--'til he died." when we stopped laughing, we explained that it was a different scott since our scott's dad was standing a few feet away.

steven saw a godzilla key chain for $5 and started planning how to buy it. i told him he would have to do chores. we were at the mall and he asked, "if i don't talk the rest of the time we are here, can i have a dollar? would that be a chore for you?" i started laughing and told him it would be a chore for him, but i wouldn't pay him for it. since picking up the sticks in the backyard was such a pain, he now asked, "can i do 5 little chores that only take a second to get the five dollars."  

Stevenisms: 6-15-01

steven was asking if we could paint our truck like a soccer ball. i said no because it is leased and we can't make any changes to it. he asked what leased was. i said that we give it back in a few years. he asked if we have to give scott's car back. i said 'no. we bought scott's car.' he asked if we could buy the truck. i said that it was not worth buying because it is an american car and it won't last. he asked if scott's car would last. i said that it was a japanese car and it would last a very long time. he said, "not longer than my necklace with the pouch on it because it is made of hemp." hippy kid. it's his grandma's influence.

i was telling him that he had to share his toys with the baby. he was naming toys that he didn't want the baby to play with because he was afraid that they would be ruined. i told him that he needed to look through his toys and find ones that he will share with the baby. last night, after i told him to get in bed, he came in and said, "can i look for toys for the baby now?"

steven and i were at a mall which had a fountain at one end. steven asked for a penny to throw in the fountain. i didn't have any. so he asked for any coin. i didn't have any. so he said, "can i throw your credit card in the fountain?" i guess he is on the 'wish now, pay later plan.' can you have the credit card company cancel the charges if your wish doesn't come true?  

Stevenisms: 6-5-01

steven still has not received his "6 inch mothra." we checked the mail last night. he looked by the door where packages are often left behind a bush. after we went inside he asked, "can i go search the whole front yard to see if they left it somewhere else?"

he is in tennis camp this week. i thought i would surprise him and pick him up early. he was surprised alright. he was dropped off at the YMCA in the morning. he rode a bus to seven oaks elementary where i was waiting to pick him up. he said, "how did you know where to find me." i told him that it said in the papers from YMCA that he would be going to seven oaks. i asked if he was afraid he would be left at the school because i couldn't find him. he said, "no. i wanted to play on the playground!" he wanted me to take him back and leave him so he could play. i tried to temp him with having ribs for dinner. (he has liked pork ever since he was 3 and we told him that it was jedi food.) he was not interested. he spotted a mcdonald's sign and excitedly made it know that he wanted mcdonald's. so we waited in a slow line of cars until we got to the microphone to order. as i opened my mouth to order, he cried, "there's burger king! i want burger king!" so we pulled away from our long awaited turn at the microphone and went to burger king.

i asked what he bought at the afternoon 'canteen' where he is supposed to get a snack in the afternoon. he said, "Barbie Q-tips." i was shocked that he wanted anything having to do with barbie dolls and even more shocked that barbie now has her own q-tips. i mean, can you imagine how small a barbie q-tip would be? so i repeated it back to him. it was his turn to be shocked. he said, "no! barbecue chips!!" oh.

the waiter asked if i wanted more rice for my curried chicken. i said, 'yes, please.' he offered some to steven who regarded him intently for a moment before nodding. when the waiter walked away, i told steven to eat his rice. he said, "i didn't really want any rice. i was just being polite." i laughed, and he said, "what's so funny?" again, i tried to explain that perfectly normal actions are sometimes funny when a child does them.

steven said, "we are supposed to wear light clothes to tennis camp. not what they weigh, but the color." i don't think he has much confidence in my intellect.

at a thai restaurant, he asked for a balloon. when he came back he said, "they speak a different kind of english. when i asked for a green balloon, he said that he didn't understand what i said."

"if the baby is a girl, will it look like you, and will it look like scott if it is a boy."

steven got up at 5 this morning and then asked me every few minutes if he could go the the park at seven oaks elementary school yet. i told him to go down and eat breakfast if he wasn't going back to bed. he went down and heated up a piece of leftover pizza. after he was dropped at the playground at seven oaks, scott told me that steven had thrown a slice of pizza in his lunch bag, no wrapping, no sandwich bag; just threw it in there. when i picked him up, the instructor told me that since they have their things outside, ants got into his pizza, so please make sure to wrap his food. she is obviously not used to adventures with steven. he had taken out the food i packed for him. so he didn't have enough to eat and was starving by the time i picked him up. i told him tonight to leave the lunch as i packed it. he answered with his standard, "why?" although he is very concerned about bugs getting in food now. he asked why semi-trucks carry those big loads. i gave an example of the truck hauling food from farms to the grocery store. he was concerned that it was dirty from being on the ground inside the truck. i said that it was in boxes or crates. he said that bugs would get to it. i said that they load it on the truck and then drive so no bugs get to it. he said, "what if a string is hanging of the truck and the ant runs and climbs up it and get in the truck and gets to the food." i said that ants don't really do those sort of heroics. he replied, "haven't you seen ants run? they run really fast." i said that the truck went faster. before he went to bed, he requested that i put his graham cracker in something so that bugs don't get it. he also asked me to tape his box of nerds candy closed so bugs don't get in it.

ahhh. the nerds topic. scott stopped at a convenience store a month or more ago. he bought some treats for me and a box of nerds for steven. not realizing that the nerds were for steven, i ate them. later scott joked that he would tell steven that i ate his nerds. i said, "i don't care. hey, steven, scott bought you some nerds, but i didn't know they were for you and i ate them." he asked if we would get him more. we said that we would some time. since then, when we went in grocery stores, he would ask to get candy and if he was denied, he would ask to get some nerds since i ate his box of nerds. weeks went by without mention of the nerds. then in wal-mart he asked scott for candy. scott said 'no,' so steven asked if he could get nerds 'since mommy ate my nerds.' scott said 'no,' and told me about it when i got back. monday morning, when scott dropped him off at the ymca, before steven got out of the car, he said, "thanks for getting me nerds scott. i'm sure i would have liked them if mommy didn't eat them. can we get more sometime." so, at the store today, we bought him a big box of nerds. hopefully, that will end the crusade for nerds.

due to some incidents at school, i have started taking steven to a counselor to work on his ability to do what he is told and to follow rules. the guy was stern with steven on the first visit. we had our second visit tonight. when i picked him up from the y, he threw a basketball at one of the coaches. in the car, i told him that he was not to do that. he said, "are you going to tell the doctor?" i said that i wouldn't as long as he didn't do that any more.

at the doctor's office, there are a lot of toys. while we waited for the doctor, we looked at the toys and commented on some of them. steven said, "i didn't expect that he would like dolls so much." i explained that they were for kids who had a hard time talking about how they felt. he reached out and touched a koosh ball that was on the shelf. i told him that the toys belonged to the doctor and it wasn't right to touch them unless the doctor gave permission. steven said, "are you going to tell him that i touched it?"

on the way home, i asked what he thought of the doctor. he said, "i think that he is a good doctor. but i don't like when he takes away priveleges." i asked why he thought he was a good doctor. he replied, "because he is right about things." maybe he was afraid i would tell the doctor if he didn't say something nice.

when he sat down in the office before the session, he said, "i don't want to talk about me this time."  

Stevenisms: 6-2-01

the other night, we were eating at an indian restaurant. scott needed more water and raised his index finger to get the attention of the waiter. a few minutes later steven wanted more nan (bread) and politely raised his index finger to get the waiter's attention. i started laughing to see him being so formal. he was irritated and said, "what did i do wrong? how am i supposed to do it?" i tried to explain that it was just cute to see a six year old do that.

today, we were in the kitchen and steven said he saw the carpenter bee outside (which he refers to as the 'black bottom bumblebee). scott told him that it doesn't stick around any more because 'that guy' sprayed stuff on the deck to keep it away. steven said, "you mean bobby the bug man?" i cracked up. steven said, "didn't i say it right." i told him that he said it right. he said, "then why are you laughing at me?" i said that it was just funny that he knows the name of the exterminator.

if we tease steven, he says, "tell the truth!" this morning scott showed us a coupon for a free meal at chic-fil-a. i asked why they sent it to him. he said, "because i'm cool." steven said, "tell the truth!"

steven has to keep a journal this summer. he has the pet rabbit from his classroom. so in his journal today, he wrote, "the rabit is osum bkus it eats out uv mi han." does that need translation? my mom said that it was great phonetically.

i bought him a spanish tape so he could continue learning spanish while he is out of school. he told me that he liked it and wanted to show me that he learned part of it. so i went in to listen to him. he learned the chorus, which is in english. i'm not sure this tape thing is going to work.