Parkerisms: 1-25-02

parker likes sucking his thumb so much that if his collar or blanket get in the way he screams. we always have to make sure he has access to his thumbs. when he is nursing or drinking his bottle, he tries to put his thumb in his mouth at the same time. this gets a little messy. he just wants it all at once. if he is particularly anxious, he sucks both thumbs at the same time. when he is neither tired nor anxious, he will suck his fingers. like me, he believes that if a little is good, more is better. so he has been known to suck all 8 fingers at one time. life would be supremely happy for parker if we could make milk come out of his thumbs. his bedtime routine is sucking his thumb, laying in his vibrating bouncy seat, watching his 'fishies' listening to brahm's lullaby, and either playing with his hair or gripping his covers or clothes. a crib seemed so necessary before he was born.... now it is just a very expensive changing table. some babies develop a bald spot and a flat spot on the back of their head from laying in the crib. parker has a bald flat spot, but it is off to the right side because he prefers his right thumb and turns his head to the right to suck that thumb.  

Stevenisms: 1-17-02

someone tried to steal his godzilla and rodan toys yesterday at his aftercare program. he has lost treasured toys before. he just doesn't think past his immediate desire to take them with him as he goes out the door. also, he still has the illusion of invincibility. he even tells me that he can run faster than cars so he won't get hit and that he would beat up anyone who tried to kidnap him. i didn't lose my superpowers until i was about 20. i think that even if he lost baby godzilla, he wouldn't learn. he will probably maintain his delusions for years to come. his dad hasn't lost the delusions yet.

i heard a report on the radio last night about premature babies having lower IQ than the average population. the test babies were under 3 pounds at birth. since parker was over 5 pounds, hopefully he'll be okay. steven was always so advanced, parker seems light years behind. i like that he is so 'baby-ish.' he is a lot of fun and so cute. he seems okay if i can keep myself from comparing him to steven. maybe he will be more laid back than steven. that would be pleasant. steven is so intense all of the time.

scott is taking steven to the circus saturday. there is some sort of pre-show tour an hour before the circus performance starts. i think steven will really enjoy it. i can't even imagine how many questions he will ask. he analyzes everything to death. one day in the car, we told him to talk to the baby because parker is always so excited to see steven. steven kept asking questions like, "i don't know what parker is saying. i don't know baby talk. what is he saying? if he doesn't know what i'm saying, why should i talk to him? what do i say to him? but, he doesn't know what that means." scott finally said, "QUIT ANALYZING IT AND DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!" talking to a baby is more emotional than logical. it is just forming brain connections based on stimulation rather than really organized logical learning. steven already saw a film about brain development, so i don't know how i could explain it much better than that. and i really don't feel like it while riding in the car. it is as if he has to understand everything 100% before he will accept it. maybe 150%. little sponge.

steven does seem to be eating more. of course i let him have just about anything he wants, so why wouldn't he eat more? he says, "can i have...?" and i say, "yes! yes! whatever! just eat!" last night he wanted pizza and i didn't get. does that make a terrible mother? he ate spaghetti, a gingerbread man, 2 bites of my supremely special cheesy cake, a package of gushers, strawberries, and milk. i need to go to the store. i prefer sending scott. i prefer having scott do everything for me, except eat. i like to do the eating. have i told you that he imitates the baby? if not, let me know and i will tell you about it.  

Stevenisms: 1-17-02

a co-worker has chickens that lays eggs in various colors. steven wanted to eat an egg that still looks like an egg so i told him that i would hard boil some eggs. i was picking out a couple to boil and he asked, "will this one work?" like some work and others just won't boil. for a long time there was an egg in the refrigerator that i wasn't allowed to cook because it was HIS egg. i had to keep explaining over and over that there was no chicken in the egg. i finally threw it away when he wasn't around.

so i called my mom to ask how to hard boil eggs. she said to put cold water in the pot and bring it to a boil, remove the pot from the heat and cover it with a lid and wait about 20 minutes. so i put he eggs in the pot and took it to the sink and put in the cold water. steven said, "can i eat it now?" no, i need to boil it. he asks for a gingerbread cookie and i said 'okay.' he starts climbing on the counter and i say, "get down! i will get the cookie." he says, "i need to watch the eggs!" mom is still on the phone and hears him. she says, "doesn't he know that a watched pot never boils?" it was kind of strange because i kind of got the feeling she actually believes that. steven kept asking if the eggs were done. i finally told him it would be at least 20 minutes. he said, "set the timer!" mom says, "no! not until after they boil! you have to wait until it boils!" so now i'm trying to think how to explain the process to him and how to tell her that i understand her instructions but it will pacify steven if i set the timer. i give up. i said "okay" to both of them and kept the timer away from the phone so mom wouldn't hear it.

so the watched pot finally boiled and i reset the timer. i tried to get steven to get off of the counter, but he climbed back up and insisted that there must be something he wanted to eat in those upper cupboards even though i put everything he can eat in the lower cupboards so he can get to it. so he is climbing on the counter and going through the cupboards. he get out my oreo ice cream cones. he has one in his hand and i start putting the package away and he starts screaming that he wants the "one on the end!" i keep saying that they are all the same but he insists that one on the end is bigger. unable to convince him otherwise, i finally let him have the "big" cone. (they ARE all the same! can i at least convince you of this?)

the timer dings and steven yells for me until i come and check on his eggs. the water wasn't cool yet and kept trying to tell him we had to wait. "but they cooled for a half hour already!" so i finally started adding cold water to cool the eggs. steven stayed under foot asking every few seconds if he could have one now. i finally said yes and he grabbed an egg and tried to take a bite, shell and all. i said, "you have to take the shell off." he said, "i knew that. i was joking around." okay, steven. so he asked for help taking the shell off. as i was helping him, he asked, "is it yummy yet?"

now scott is hassling me to get in the car because we're going to the store. i told him that i have written everything up to the present moment, so i was ready. he said he is keeping steven down stairs so he can't do any more funny stuff for me to write about.

ciao   

Stevenisms: 1-16-02

steven and i have an ongoing fight about him taking his toys to school. i am particularly adamant about him leaving expensive, irreplaceable toys home (like baby godzilla). this morning he was arguing that he needed to take baby godzilla with him. he said, "i hardly play with him because i can't get used to him since you won't let me take him anywhere." so i guess that steven and baby godzilla will never get familiar with each other. tragic.  

Stevenisms: 1-15-02

Last night, Steven told me that the earth is turning all of the time even though it doesn’t seem like it is moving. I said, “I think it just stopped.” He said, “no! it didn’t! it never stops!” Then he was telling me that I do something all the time. He said, “24 hours a day! And 24 hours a night!” Mom was surprised to hear that we are having 48 hour cycles now. Leave it to Steven to change the laws of the universe.

In his bath, he said that he wanted to show me something. Sometimes he says that just to get my attention and them spends 10 minutes thinking of something to show me. So I washed his hair while he was thinking. He told me that now I had ruined it. He asked if there was soap in the water. I said that there probably was. He said, “Well wash it out!” As soon as I figure out how to wash the soap out of the water, I will comply.

He dumped about 2 bottles of bath gel into the tub and called me in to show me all of the bubbles he made. He was so proud of making those bubbles that I let the fact he used up all of the bath gel sort of slide as he pointed “look at this big bubble! I just used the rest of that one and that one and part of that one (pointing to the now empty bottles)”

Parker fell asleep right as we got to the waffle house. I parked the truck at the window so we could watch him as we ate. One of the parker rules is “do not wake the baby” which he pronounces “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” After about 15 minutes, Steven scolded me, “parker is probably out there crying this whole time! You need to go check on him.” So I did. And of course he was sleeping soundly. When we got back in the car, the sound of closing doors woke him. So Steven said, “see! I told you he was awake!” I just don’t know how we could raise this baby without Steven’s input.

He kept asking for an ‘ice mothra’ among other “needs.” (Imagine that: Steven asking for toys. That never happens, right?) I told him that I spent more money on toys for him than I could really afford and that he would have to wait until I had more money. He solemnly handed me his $5 bill to help me out.

I kept telling him to get up yesterday morning. I finally got frustrated and asked him what would get him out of bed because I was tired of fighting. He told me to go bid on an ice mothra and let him know when I won and then he would get out of bed to come look at it. Getting him up for school would get awfully expensive. So this morning I tried the tickle method.

He wanted a ‘to-go’ box for his unfinished waffle last night. He wouldn’t speak up and tell the waiter. Could it be that Steven is getting shy in his old age? So he sat there with his hand raised in the middle of waffle house expecting the waiter to call on him. Didn’t happen. After about 6 tries, he finally said, “Excuse me” and the waiter promptly got him a ‘to-go’ box.

When the waiter brought the bill, I put out the money along with a tip. As the waiter picked it up, I said, “I don’t need any change.” Steven looked at me in surprise and said, “Well I want the change!” I shushed him and told him that you give the waiter a tip when you pay. He asked why and I him told that it is for the service. He said he wanted a tip. I said, ‘what have you done for me?’ “Well, I got lots of pink checks at school for being good. And you didn’t even get me a toy every time!” Such a neglectful mother. Poor deprived child! I don’t know how he survives.

When ordering at the waffle house, Steven said he wanted “a waffle and twenty pieces of bacon.” The waiter laughed and said he was crazy. When Scott got home from class, he cooked a whole package of bacon for Steven since the waiter ‘adjusted’ Steven’s order to 2 strips of bacon. So Steven munched on bacon for breakfast and had a gingerbread man for ‘dessert.’ The gingerbread man was of course screaming, “run, run as fast as you can…” as Steven ate his limbs.