Stevenisms: 7-20-01

we were eating lunch at carolina bagel and steven wanted the pasta salad. when we sat down, he asked me to remove 'the Olivers' from his salad. mom and i thought it was so cute that we continued to call the olives 'olivers.' later that night i realized how mad he would be if he found out that we mislead him, so i had to tell him that they were 'olives' instead of 'olivers.'

on the drive to selma with mom, it was getting dark and there was just traces of crimson left in the sky. steven said, "this is like driving through a warehouse." mom wasn't sure what he meant and asked him why it was like driving through a warehouse. he said that it was scary like driving through a warehouse. mom asked, "like a werewolf?" steven replied, "yeah!"

as he usually does on a long trip, steven repeatedly asked how much longer and how much further. mom would tell him where they were and how much farther they had to go. as they drove out of montgomery, steven once again asked for an update. mom told him that they were on the edge of montgomery and how much further they would be going. a few moments later, steven asked, "are we about to fall off of Montgomery?"

for his bedtime stories, mom picked 3 books and held them up telling him to pick which one he wanted to hear first. he replied, "the one in your non-dominant hand."

on his final report card from kindergarten, the teacher marked that he didn't know his left from his right. perhaps she should have asked about dominant versus non-dominant.  

Stevenisms: 7-17-01

sunday, steven rode a go-cart in gatlinburg where his dad took him. as he was getting out, another child rammed his go-cart into steven's. steven's left foot was crushed and he had big painful abrasions. he cried for a half hour. monday, he came down with strep, so we made a trip to the urgent care. he cried as the nurse removed the adhesive bandages. as mom and i examined the wound, he glumly commented, "it's a good thing it was my left foot instead of my right." i was confused, but since my mom raised 3 kids (and a husband) she caught on and asked, "because you are right footed?" steven nodded.

while waiting (forever!) at the urgent care, we tried to cheer steven by playing with his new stuffed eagle. mom said that he'd better keep it away from our fish since eagle eat fish. steven replied, "it's a toy," and twisted it's stuffed beak to demonstrate. poor grandma. she just gets so carried away.  

Stevenisms: 7-13-01

steven got a red bear at school (means he got in trouble). as he got in the car, he said, "i know you're not happy." later, he asked me to take off his socks. i don't do things he can do himself, so i said 'no.' he said, "why not? because i got a red bear?" no.

he helped me make cookies last night. they had to be rolled into balls and then rolled in cinnamon. i started making them into balls and let him roll them in cinnamon. well, of course little huckleberry wanted to make them into balls. i told him he was doing a good job. he said, "i know. i make cookies better than you, don't i."

he watched scott's cousin play soccer. when her game was over, we all congratulated her on her playing. steven told her, "i play soccer faster than you."

scott was mowing, so steven asked to mow. i told him that the push mower was too hard. i was mopping and he asked if he could do it. i let him mop. scott said, "hey, steven! i can mop faster than you!" so steven said, "oh, no you can't" and proceeded to speed mop in circles around the room. still haven't got the footprint quirk worked out of his mopping.

scott was loading games from the internet and we were watching. steven got bored watching all of the technical aspects of loading software. so he told scott, "stop messin' around and look for a game!"

i read him some of the previous stevenisms and explained why some of them were funny. then it was time for him to go to bed and told him to get going. as he left the room, he turned around and said, "write some more of those tonight, okay?"

steven's reading is progressing rapidly and he now enjoys showing off his reading skills. he read a book to his class for show and tell. his teacher said that he his reading was complete with 'sound effects and all.' that night, he read a book to me. when he was done, he said, "are there any claps around here." it took me a second, but i caught on and applauded. then he said, "what about scott?" scott smiled, but didn't applaud. no more story time for him!!  

Stevenisms: 7-9-01

not too many stevenisms lately since he is visiting his dad. but i spoke with him last night and he asked if his butterflies had emerged from their chrysalis -es. (i don't know the plural of chrysalis.) i told him that they were supposed to hatch in 10 to 14 days and since it has been several months, they have probably died and won't be hatching. he said, "well, can you take them to a pet doctor and have him see if they will hatch." i told him that i don't know of any vets who practice on caterpillars. he advised me to look in the phone book and call around to find one. so, if anyone knows of caterpillar doctor, we are in need of one.  

Stevenisms: 7-1-01

while eating out with family in ohio, we got a waitress who was still in training. her waiter 'coach' hovered near by while she took our order. she said to 'ignore him.' later, he asked how we liked the meal and jeanette answered that it was fine. steven whispered to his grandma, "we are supposed to ignore that guy." jeanette assured him that it was okay to talk to him when he talked to us first.

karon took steven to toy'r'us and allowed him to pick out toys. steven, as usual, couldn't resist playing with the balls in the store. he bounced the ball too high and it went over the shelving into the next aisle. karon said that she heard something fall over there and she warned steven that if he didn't behave they would be thrown out. a second later, they heard a woman on the loud speaker saying, "As you leave, check out our tent sale...." steven's eyes got as big as saucers and he put his hands over his mouth in shock. then he asked karon, "how did they know i did that?" karon said, "you'd better put the ball back." he hurriedly put it back and improved his behavior for the rest of their toy store visit.