Stevenisms: 10-28-01

steven had a rough weekend. he had isaac over friday night and they dumped my nail polish remover when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth. steven lied about it and got a spanking. the next day he told scott, "you spank too hard!" he has to fight back his laughter when i spank him because it doesn't hurt.

the next day, steven was acting up and scott brought him back in the house to have a 'chat' with him. scott loudly told him "your mother and i love you very much. why do you think we try so hard to straighten you out." i was upstairs trying not to laugh about scott yelling 'we love you' at steven. the tone and words just seemed a bit ironic.

i had a nightmare that i was trying to spank steven and my arms were so weak that all i could manage was a pat on the bottom. i had another nightmare that i was trying to pull a semi-trailer with my scooter (the motor bike, not the yorkshire terrier, or as steven calls him, yorkshire carrier). i was having to pull the fully loaded several ton trailer on the highway and hit a traffic jam. i was on a cell phone talking to my mom, screaming every time i nearly ran into the back of the car in front of me. i was performing this fete on the way to a job interview. if that is what i have to do to get my next job, i'm never leaving scana.

scott got me a bowl of icecream and was bringing it upstairs to me. i noticed he was swallowing something as he reached me. the night before, he was bringing me a glass of water. when he got to me, i had to wait for him to finish drinking before he handed over what was left. i had to laugh because it brought back memories of when steven was 2 or 3 and he was in the kitchen with mom. they were eating triscuits and i wanted some. i asked mom to give me some (i was in the living room doing something). she told steven to bring me some. he handed me a soggy corner of a triscuit. i said, "mom, i would like a little more than a bite!" she said, "what do you mean? I gave him a whole handful of crackers for you." if i had to count on scott and steven to bring me food, i would starve to death. maybe i could market some kind of diet plan where the gimic is that your child or husband serves you your food. i would of course include a disclaimer of liability: if you are about to starve to death, break the diet and go to the kitchen yourself. I take no responsibility for those who die of starvation subsisting on soggy cracker corners served by their husband and children.