Stevenisms: 3-15-02

steven finally acquired the ty godzilla, ghidorah, and mothra. (i don't want to talk about that.) steven tends to want to bring all of his toys with him everywhere he goes. his teacher finally solved the problem of steven taking toys to school by permanently confiscating his dinosaur one day. since the ty characters were imported from japan, are somewhat scarce, were expensive, and his mother swore "I'M NOT BUYING ANY MORE GODZILLA STUFF, SO STOP ASKING ME," steven decided that it would not be wise to take them to school with him. he set them on the stairs facing the door so they would be there to greet him when he got home from school. as scott came down the stairs, steven announced, "i'd better not take my godzilla guys to school because ms. gentry might take them away." scott voiced his agreement: "that's right. they're irreplaceable."

"what does 'irreplaceable' mean?" asked steven, the king of asking questions who often annoys his parental units by asking obvious questions or asking questions over and over and over and....

"well, steven, what does replaceable mean?" asked scott with his expert parenting techniques in play.

"get another one," answered steven proving he has a perfectly good brain brimming with vocabulary.

"so what does 'irreplaceable' mean?" asked scott.

"to listen for another one?"

Stevenisms: 2-26-02

...so steven is trying to figure out how he will get the money to get more godzilla toys. he says he will do chores. i tell him to go to school now. i hear him leave. a little while later, i hear him come back in. he yells, "mom! i started your car for you." uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh "thanks"

"can that count as a chore?"

"no."

"why not?"

"because it could be dangerous."

"why?"

"honey, you need to go to school right now. we'll talk about it later."

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! next time he will be driving to the store because he ran out of milk (that kid drinks more milk....!) and wondering why i'm upset. thing is, he probably can drive better than i can. i really think he should get a job.  

Stevenisms: 2-20-02

steven's new fascination is with chess. his dad is amazing at chess. so i have always expected steven to be a chess wiz from age 3 on. his dad never worked with him on it until now. steven has played scott twice and lost both games. i expect this to change. we let him start playing chess master on the computer last weekend. he did the tutorials for a while. then he played against the computer and quickly lost. then he discovered he can set the game so he is controlling both sides. so he repeatedly beat the tar out of the black side. then he started allowing the black side to make some moves. he told me that he captured every black piece but the king, then allowed the king to take every white piece except the king and queen. then the queen wiped out the black king. i figure he is learning from all of this. i just don't think he is prepared to learn by losing. so in the meantime, he will continue beating helpless opponents. hopefully this will prepare him for opponents who exist. it is amazing how long he will stay on chessmaster. eventually, he will beat you all! i am terrible at chess. but if my offspring becomes a chessmaster, then i am vicariously a chessmaster. just like i have always hated being short, but when steven hits 6', i am vicariously going to be tall. steven only has to be brilliant, funny, tall, strong, and every other superlative. no pressure there!  

Parkerisms: 1-25-02

parker likes sucking his thumb so much that if his collar or blanket get in the way he screams. we always have to make sure he has access to his thumbs. when he is nursing or drinking his bottle, he tries to put his thumb in his mouth at the same time. this gets a little messy. he just wants it all at once. if he is particularly anxious, he sucks both thumbs at the same time. when he is neither tired nor anxious, he will suck his fingers. like me, he believes that if a little is good, more is better. so he has been known to suck all 8 fingers at one time. life would be supremely happy for parker if we could make milk come out of his thumbs. his bedtime routine is sucking his thumb, laying in his vibrating bouncy seat, watching his 'fishies' listening to brahm's lullaby, and either playing with his hair or gripping his covers or clothes. a crib seemed so necessary before he was born.... now it is just a very expensive changing table. some babies develop a bald spot and a flat spot on the back of their head from laying in the crib. parker has a bald flat spot, but it is off to the right side because he prefers his right thumb and turns his head to the right to suck that thumb.  

Stevenisms: 1-17-02

someone tried to steal his godzilla and rodan toys yesterday at his aftercare program. he has lost treasured toys before. he just doesn't think past his immediate desire to take them with him as he goes out the door. also, he still has the illusion of invincibility. he even tells me that he can run faster than cars so he won't get hit and that he would beat up anyone who tried to kidnap him. i didn't lose my superpowers until i was about 20. i think that even if he lost baby godzilla, he wouldn't learn. he will probably maintain his delusions for years to come. his dad hasn't lost the delusions yet.

i heard a report on the radio last night about premature babies having lower IQ than the average population. the test babies were under 3 pounds at birth. since parker was over 5 pounds, hopefully he'll be okay. steven was always so advanced, parker seems light years behind. i like that he is so 'baby-ish.' he is a lot of fun and so cute. he seems okay if i can keep myself from comparing him to steven. maybe he will be more laid back than steven. that would be pleasant. steven is so intense all of the time.

scott is taking steven to the circus saturday. there is some sort of pre-show tour an hour before the circus performance starts. i think steven will really enjoy it. i can't even imagine how many questions he will ask. he analyzes everything to death. one day in the car, we told him to talk to the baby because parker is always so excited to see steven. steven kept asking questions like, "i don't know what parker is saying. i don't know baby talk. what is he saying? if he doesn't know what i'm saying, why should i talk to him? what do i say to him? but, he doesn't know what that means." scott finally said, "QUIT ANALYZING IT AND DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!" talking to a baby is more emotional than logical. it is just forming brain connections based on stimulation rather than really organized logical learning. steven already saw a film about brain development, so i don't know how i could explain it much better than that. and i really don't feel like it while riding in the car. it is as if he has to understand everything 100% before he will accept it. maybe 150%. little sponge.

steven does seem to be eating more. of course i let him have just about anything he wants, so why wouldn't he eat more? he says, "can i have...?" and i say, "yes! yes! whatever! just eat!" last night he wanted pizza and i didn't get. does that make a terrible mother? he ate spaghetti, a gingerbread man, 2 bites of my supremely special cheesy cake, a package of gushers, strawberries, and milk. i need to go to the store. i prefer sending scott. i prefer having scott do everything for me, except eat. i like to do the eating. have i told you that he imitates the baby? if not, let me know and i will tell you about it.  

Stevenisms: 1-17-02

a co-worker has chickens that lays eggs in various colors. steven wanted to eat an egg that still looks like an egg so i told him that i would hard boil some eggs. i was picking out a couple to boil and he asked, "will this one work?" like some work and others just won't boil. for a long time there was an egg in the refrigerator that i wasn't allowed to cook because it was HIS egg. i had to keep explaining over and over that there was no chicken in the egg. i finally threw it away when he wasn't around.

so i called my mom to ask how to hard boil eggs. she said to put cold water in the pot and bring it to a boil, remove the pot from the heat and cover it with a lid and wait about 20 minutes. so i put he eggs in the pot and took it to the sink and put in the cold water. steven said, "can i eat it now?" no, i need to boil it. he asks for a gingerbread cookie and i said 'okay.' he starts climbing on the counter and i say, "get down! i will get the cookie." he says, "i need to watch the eggs!" mom is still on the phone and hears him. she says, "doesn't he know that a watched pot never boils?" it was kind of strange because i kind of got the feeling she actually believes that. steven kept asking if the eggs were done. i finally told him it would be at least 20 minutes. he said, "set the timer!" mom says, "no! not until after they boil! you have to wait until it boils!" so now i'm trying to think how to explain the process to him and how to tell her that i understand her instructions but it will pacify steven if i set the timer. i give up. i said "okay" to both of them and kept the timer away from the phone so mom wouldn't hear it.

so the watched pot finally boiled and i reset the timer. i tried to get steven to get off of the counter, but he climbed back up and insisted that there must be something he wanted to eat in those upper cupboards even though i put everything he can eat in the lower cupboards so he can get to it. so he is climbing on the counter and going through the cupboards. he get out my oreo ice cream cones. he has one in his hand and i start putting the package away and he starts screaming that he wants the "one on the end!" i keep saying that they are all the same but he insists that one on the end is bigger. unable to convince him otherwise, i finally let him have the "big" cone. (they ARE all the same! can i at least convince you of this?)

the timer dings and steven yells for me until i come and check on his eggs. the water wasn't cool yet and kept trying to tell him we had to wait. "but they cooled for a half hour already!" so i finally started adding cold water to cool the eggs. steven stayed under foot asking every few seconds if he could have one now. i finally said yes and he grabbed an egg and tried to take a bite, shell and all. i said, "you have to take the shell off." he said, "i knew that. i was joking around." okay, steven. so he asked for help taking the shell off. as i was helping him, he asked, "is it yummy yet?"

now scott is hassling me to get in the car because we're going to the store. i told him that i have written everything up to the present moment, so i was ready. he said he is keeping steven down stairs so he can't do any more funny stuff for me to write about.

ciao   

Stevenisms: 1-16-02

steven and i have an ongoing fight about him taking his toys to school. i am particularly adamant about him leaving expensive, irreplaceable toys home (like baby godzilla). this morning he was arguing that he needed to take baby godzilla with him. he said, "i hardly play with him because i can't get used to him since you won't let me take him anywhere." so i guess that steven and baby godzilla will never get familiar with each other. tragic.  

Stevenisms: 1-15-02

Last night, Steven told me that the earth is turning all of the time even though it doesn’t seem like it is moving. I said, “I think it just stopped.” He said, “no! it didn’t! it never stops!” Then he was telling me that I do something all the time. He said, “24 hours a day! And 24 hours a night!” Mom was surprised to hear that we are having 48 hour cycles now. Leave it to Steven to change the laws of the universe.

In his bath, he said that he wanted to show me something. Sometimes he says that just to get my attention and them spends 10 minutes thinking of something to show me. So I washed his hair while he was thinking. He told me that now I had ruined it. He asked if there was soap in the water. I said that there probably was. He said, “Well wash it out!” As soon as I figure out how to wash the soap out of the water, I will comply.

He dumped about 2 bottles of bath gel into the tub and called me in to show me all of the bubbles he made. He was so proud of making those bubbles that I let the fact he used up all of the bath gel sort of slide as he pointed “look at this big bubble! I just used the rest of that one and that one and part of that one (pointing to the now empty bottles)”

Parker fell asleep right as we got to the waffle house. I parked the truck at the window so we could watch him as we ate. One of the parker rules is “do not wake the baby” which he pronounces “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” After about 15 minutes, Steven scolded me, “parker is probably out there crying this whole time! You need to go check on him.” So I did. And of course he was sleeping soundly. When we got back in the car, the sound of closing doors woke him. So Steven said, “see! I told you he was awake!” I just don’t know how we could raise this baby without Steven’s input.

He kept asking for an ‘ice mothra’ among other “needs.” (Imagine that: Steven asking for toys. That never happens, right?) I told him that I spent more money on toys for him than I could really afford and that he would have to wait until I had more money. He solemnly handed me his $5 bill to help me out.

I kept telling him to get up yesterday morning. I finally got frustrated and asked him what would get him out of bed because I was tired of fighting. He told me to go bid on an ice mothra and let him know when I won and then he would get out of bed to come look at it. Getting him up for school would get awfully expensive. So this morning I tried the tickle method.

He wanted a ‘to-go’ box for his unfinished waffle last night. He wouldn’t speak up and tell the waiter. Could it be that Steven is getting shy in his old age? So he sat there with his hand raised in the middle of waffle house expecting the waiter to call on him. Didn’t happen. After about 6 tries, he finally said, “Excuse me” and the waiter promptly got him a ‘to-go’ box.

When the waiter brought the bill, I put out the money along with a tip. As the waiter picked it up, I said, “I don’t need any change.” Steven looked at me in surprise and said, “Well I want the change!” I shushed him and told him that you give the waiter a tip when you pay. He asked why and I him told that it is for the service. He said he wanted a tip. I said, ‘what have you done for me?’ “Well, I got lots of pink checks at school for being good. And you didn’t even get me a toy every time!” Such a neglectful mother. Poor deprived child! I don’t know how he survives.

When ordering at the waffle house, Steven said he wanted “a waffle and twenty pieces of bacon.” The waiter laughed and said he was crazy. When Scott got home from class, he cooked a whole package of bacon for Steven since the waiter ‘adjusted’ Steven’s order to 2 strips of bacon. So Steven munched on bacon for breakfast and had a gingerbread man for ‘dessert.’ The gingerbread man was of course screaming, “run, run as fast as you can…” as Steven ate his limbs.

Stevenisms: 10-30-01

steven had the first of four appointments to fill his cavities today. he wanted the whole tooth to be silver instead of just part of the tooth. and he really wanted gold. he likes gold. he put himself to bed because his mouth hurt. october 30, 2001 steven gary fogle II put himself to bed without having to be threatened with extreme bodily harm. mark your calendar.

on the way home from the dentist he may have still been under the influence of pain medication because he said, "you aren't cool. you aren't even 70 yet." i said, "so, i will be cool when i'm seventy?" he said, "yes. but i will be cooler. i will be 100 when you are 70." "how are you going to get older than me?" "i'm going to eat healthy and grow faster and birthday sooner." i started to laugh and opened my mouth to explain the time continuum. thinking about the conversation to follow and my ability to effectively explain the linear nature of time, i simply said, "good plan." he said, "i'm going to keep it a secret." okay. doctors are working hard to stave off aging and steven is going to discover the secret of reaching 100 the fastest. he may do it. he told scott's cousin that he plays soccer faster than she does. he announced to a wedding party that he could dance the fastest. he insisted that he could mop fastest. i believe that he really has found the secret to speed the aging process. he certainly is aging me.

for the past week, he has been asking to take godzilla to school. the teacher has forbidden it. he keeps telling me that she says he can take it to school as long as she doesn't see it and he keeps it in his bag. he says that she allows it but if she sees it out during school, she will take it away because he is only allowed to get it out at the after-care program. i spoke to her tonight. she said that he has been hassling her a zillion times a day saying that his mom said that he could take godzilla to school as long as his teacher doesn't say 'no.' he tells her that i want him to take it to play with at afternoon safari. well, he isn't exactly lying. he is selling. he presenting the facts in just the right light to get his way. i said that i would talk to his teacher about it and he played a guilt trip on me. "you don't believe me! you think i'm lying!" oh, my goodness! my son thinks i'm calling him a liar! so, after talking to his teacher, we discover he is cleverly playing us both. so i tell him, "your teacher says that there is no reason for you to take toys to school. school is not the place for toys." "so, I can take it!?" no. no. no. wow. he must have sold so hard that he convinced himself too.

gotta go to bed now. rest my aging bones. hope i have the strength tomorrow to keep steven from twisting me into a pretzel. my 70 year old body just can't take it.  

Stevenisms: 10-28-01

steven had a rough weekend. he had isaac over friday night and they dumped my nail polish remover when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth. steven lied about it and got a spanking. the next day he told scott, "you spank too hard!" he has to fight back his laughter when i spank him because it doesn't hurt.

the next day, steven was acting up and scott brought him back in the house to have a 'chat' with him. scott loudly told him "your mother and i love you very much. why do you think we try so hard to straighten you out." i was upstairs trying not to laugh about scott yelling 'we love you' at steven. the tone and words just seemed a bit ironic.

i had a nightmare that i was trying to spank steven and my arms were so weak that all i could manage was a pat on the bottom. i had another nightmare that i was trying to pull a semi-trailer with my scooter (the motor bike, not the yorkshire terrier, or as steven calls him, yorkshire carrier). i was having to pull the fully loaded several ton trailer on the highway and hit a traffic jam. i was on a cell phone talking to my mom, screaming every time i nearly ran into the back of the car in front of me. i was performing this fete on the way to a job interview. if that is what i have to do to get my next job, i'm never leaving scana.

scott got me a bowl of icecream and was bringing it upstairs to me. i noticed he was swallowing something as he reached me. the night before, he was bringing me a glass of water. when he got to me, i had to wait for him to finish drinking before he handed over what was left. i had to laugh because it brought back memories of when steven was 2 or 3 and he was in the kitchen with mom. they were eating triscuits and i wanted some. i asked mom to give me some (i was in the living room doing something). she told steven to bring me some. he handed me a soggy corner of a triscuit. i said, "mom, i would like a little more than a bite!" she said, "what do you mean? I gave him a whole handful of crackers for you." if i had to count on scott and steven to bring me food, i would starve to death. maybe i could market some kind of diet plan where the gimic is that your child or husband serves you your food. i would of course include a disclaimer of liability: if you are about to starve to death, break the diet and go to the kitchen yourself. I take no responsibility for those who die of starvation subsisting on soggy cracker corners served by their husband and children.  

Stevenisms: 10-23-01

steven was watching Godzilla vs. Destroyah last night and asked me to watch it with him. i sat down for a few minutes. on the movie, one of the psychics who was pursuing godzilla said that she wished she lost her psychic ability so she could be an ordinary girl with a husband and children. i was thinking 'what a loser.' steven turns to me and says,"that's you." uh! he continued to watch me for a response but i was too stunned to respond. 'ordinary girl!' husband and children were not my goal! they are pleasant diversions. 'ordinary girl!' okay, so i don't want to be a godzilla chasing psychic, but i can't believe i'm an 'ordinary girl!' i'm an accountant! i work for a fortune 500 company in their s.e.c. reporting division. i drive a truck. i own a scooter (motor scooter and a dog named scooter). what do i have to do to not be an ordinary girl? i promise to never crochet again! i don't even cook or clean!  

Stevenisms: 10-22-01

steven had a visitor this weekend. my friend spring brought her son gregory. steven and gregory were joined at the hip the whole weekend. sunday morning, steven wouldn't share his tootsie rolls with gregory. gregory got upset and pushed steven. steven told him to get out of the house. when gregory refused, steven threatened to punch him in the eye if he didn't get out. gregory stepped out the door and steven locked him out of the house. when steven heard spring coming down the stairs, he ran to the door and unlocked it. spring told him to never do anything like that again. i later tried to discuss it with steven and he kept saying, "i already discussed this with gregory's mom. could we just forget about it?" gregory had a red mark on his arm and when spring asked him what happened, he said that it was bug bites. spring said that it wasn't bug bites and steven piped up, "well, i didn't bite him!"

spring told gregory to say his ABCs in the car. he apparently didn't want to say them because he said that 'satan put a gun in my mouth and stole the ABCs like a robber.' that was slightly different than steven's excuse years ago that he couldn't say his ABCs because 'my mouth is too small.'

gregory has a speech problem and sometimes(actually, rather often) even his mom can't understand him. oddly, steven never has any problem understanding gregory. so i have to ask steven to interpret when gregory speaks. now, whenever gregory speaks, steven looks at me sideways and smirks. i guess that he is checking to see if his pathetic mother needs his assistance.

gregory speak:

foos = shoes

otay = okay

gwayee = gregory

maybe steven understands because of his multicultural exposure. he has spanish class at school. i have heard theories that young children should be exposed to foreign language early. they have a natural ability to pick up languages while you. so his exposure to spanish makes him more likely to understand other foreign tongues like "young child language."

i asked 2 supervisors what i should be doing with confidential documents since i haven't seen a shredder. my supervisor said that he has a sign on his recycle bin instructing the cleaning staff not to empty his bin. he said that it does no good since the cleaning staff does not speak english. i asked if he would like me to have steven translate it to spanish for him. or maybe baby talk.

backyard conversation when little carol ann brought a treat to steven:

carol ann (4): hi, you guys.

steven (6): what's up?

gregory (5): we jus pwaying.

carol ann: can i have these stickers? can i open this candy? (items from the treat bag she just brought to give to steven)

katy (28): boys, pick up the toys.

carol ann (yelling): get these toys picked up, boys!

bye, you guys!

steven: later, dude.  

Stevenisms: 8-19-01

hello everyone!

steven is proud to announce the birth of his baby brother, parker. parker was born aug. 13 and weighed 5 lb. 2 oz. he was 18 inches long. he has brown hair and indeterminate eye color. his eyes will likely be hazel since everything else about him is the spitten image of his daddy, scott. parker is healthy and is resting peacefully at home until he gets hungry and demonstrates his tremendous lung capacity to summon mommy, his personal cow. mommy is doing well and is quickly learning her place on the food chain. daddy is tickled pink to have his little offspring. mommy and daddy will need to be slapped if they say "he's so cute!" one more time.

as for "the big brother," he has has a new shirt announcing his status as big brother which he is thrilled to sport. he went to grandma's for the weekend to let his parents rest. he announced that by the time he gets back, he hopes that parker "has his neck muscles so he can crawl and play." steven has held parker a few times and has put a clean diaper on him twice. steven told mommy, "you can clean up the poop and i will put the diaper on." thanks. steven put a diaper on his teddy bear for practice. so his rugby playing, snarling teddy bear is wearing the latest in diaper fashion. it squeezes in his hips and puffs his chest out. very intimidating rugby bear.

steven is having good time at grandma's because even though mommy forbid grandma to buy him any more toys, mommy did not anticipate steven's loophole. he got grandpa to buy him more toys. when he described his latest acquisitions to mommy, she asked, "so, do you have enough toys now." steven was silent a moment before replying that he needed just one more. just one more. hmmmm. seems that i've heard that somewhere before. as a matter of fact, i think it is the motto of a few addicts i know. well, if he gets that other toy dinosaur which composes the 'just one more,' i will let you know if he finally believes that he has enough. please, don't hold your breath.  

Stevenisms: 8-13-01

scott and steven got nerds rope the other day. scott left some of his on the counter. i little mouse named steven ate it. i couldn't help laughing. scott had to expect that if he left candy in plain sight it would not be there later. steven was very honest about it. he told me as soon as i came down stairs. he said, "is it okay that i ate scott's candy? if you say it is okay, then scott won't get mad." clever kid.  

Stevenisms: 8-9-01

my mom bought frozen waffles for his breakfast when he was at her house. scott made waffles monday morning. steven said that he liked them better than the "toast berry pills boy" waffles at grandma's house. you are bright, so you can probably decipher that one. i had to call my mom and ask, "what kind of waffles." she told me that it was actually Pilsbury Doughboy. i liked steven's version. and really, pilsbury doughboy doesn't make any more sense than toastbury pilsboy. but scott slipped up and said 'pilsbury' in front of steven. now steven won't say the 'toastbury' version any more. he hates being wrong. he doesn't find it cute. last time i said 'toastbury pilsboy' he got mad and told me to only say it in my head. i hate when people correct his cute sayings. he doesn't say things wrong very often. so i have to enjoy it when he does. he used to say 'flum' for 'plum.' i loved that. but mom told him it was 'plum,' and he refused to say 'flum' anymore. maybe i would have more fun with a dumb kid.  

Stevenisms: 7-20-01

we were eating lunch at carolina bagel and steven wanted the pasta salad. when we sat down, he asked me to remove 'the Olivers' from his salad. mom and i thought it was so cute that we continued to call the olives 'olivers.' later that night i realized how mad he would be if he found out that we mislead him, so i had to tell him that they were 'olives' instead of 'olivers.'

on the drive to selma with mom, it was getting dark and there was just traces of crimson left in the sky. steven said, "this is like driving through a warehouse." mom wasn't sure what he meant and asked him why it was like driving through a warehouse. he said that it was scary like driving through a warehouse. mom asked, "like a werewolf?" steven replied, "yeah!"

as he usually does on a long trip, steven repeatedly asked how much longer and how much further. mom would tell him where they were and how much farther they had to go. as they drove out of montgomery, steven once again asked for an update. mom told him that they were on the edge of montgomery and how much further they would be going. a few moments later, steven asked, "are we about to fall off of Montgomery?"

for his bedtime stories, mom picked 3 books and held them up telling him to pick which one he wanted to hear first. he replied, "the one in your non-dominant hand."

on his final report card from kindergarten, the teacher marked that he didn't know his left from his right. perhaps she should have asked about dominant versus non-dominant.  

Stevenisms: 7-17-01

sunday, steven rode a go-cart in gatlinburg where his dad took him. as he was getting out, another child rammed his go-cart into steven's. steven's left foot was crushed and he had big painful abrasions. he cried for a half hour. monday, he came down with strep, so we made a trip to the urgent care. he cried as the nurse removed the adhesive bandages. as mom and i examined the wound, he glumly commented, "it's a good thing it was my left foot instead of my right." i was confused, but since my mom raised 3 kids (and a husband) she caught on and asked, "because you are right footed?" steven nodded.

while waiting (forever!) at the urgent care, we tried to cheer steven by playing with his new stuffed eagle. mom said that he'd better keep it away from our fish since eagle eat fish. steven replied, "it's a toy," and twisted it's stuffed beak to demonstrate. poor grandma. she just gets so carried away.  

Stevenisms: 7-13-01

steven got a red bear at school (means he got in trouble). as he got in the car, he said, "i know you're not happy." later, he asked me to take off his socks. i don't do things he can do himself, so i said 'no.' he said, "why not? because i got a red bear?" no.

he helped me make cookies last night. they had to be rolled into balls and then rolled in cinnamon. i started making them into balls and let him roll them in cinnamon. well, of course little huckleberry wanted to make them into balls. i told him he was doing a good job. he said, "i know. i make cookies better than you, don't i."

he watched scott's cousin play soccer. when her game was over, we all congratulated her on her playing. steven told her, "i play soccer faster than you."

scott was mowing, so steven asked to mow. i told him that the push mower was too hard. i was mopping and he asked if he could do it. i let him mop. scott said, "hey, steven! i can mop faster than you!" so steven said, "oh, no you can't" and proceeded to speed mop in circles around the room. still haven't got the footprint quirk worked out of his mopping.

scott was loading games from the internet and we were watching. steven got bored watching all of the technical aspects of loading software. so he told scott, "stop messin' around and look for a game!"

i read him some of the previous stevenisms and explained why some of them were funny. then it was time for him to go to bed and told him to get going. as he left the room, he turned around and said, "write some more of those tonight, okay?"

steven's reading is progressing rapidly and he now enjoys showing off his reading skills. he read a book to his class for show and tell. his teacher said that he his reading was complete with 'sound effects and all.' that night, he read a book to me. when he was done, he said, "are there any claps around here." it took me a second, but i caught on and applauded. then he said, "what about scott?" scott smiled, but didn't applaud. no more story time for him!!  

Stevenisms: 7-9-01

not too many stevenisms lately since he is visiting his dad. but i spoke with him last night and he asked if his butterflies had emerged from their chrysalis -es. (i don't know the plural of chrysalis.) i told him that they were supposed to hatch in 10 to 14 days and since it has been several months, they have probably died and won't be hatching. he said, "well, can you take them to a pet doctor and have him see if they will hatch." i told him that i don't know of any vets who practice on caterpillars. he advised me to look in the phone book and call around to find one. so, if anyone knows of caterpillar doctor, we are in need of one.  

Stevenisms: 7-1-01

while eating out with family in ohio, we got a waitress who was still in training. her waiter 'coach' hovered near by while she took our order. she said to 'ignore him.' later, he asked how we liked the meal and jeanette answered that it was fine. steven whispered to his grandma, "we are supposed to ignore that guy." jeanette assured him that it was okay to talk to him when he talked to us first.

karon took steven to toy'r'us and allowed him to pick out toys. steven, as usual, couldn't resist playing with the balls in the store. he bounced the ball too high and it went over the shelving into the next aisle. karon said that she heard something fall over there and she warned steven that if he didn't behave they would be thrown out. a second later, they heard a woman on the loud speaker saying, "As you leave, check out our tent sale...." steven's eyes got as big as saucers and he put his hands over his mouth in shock. then he asked karon, "how did they know i did that?" karon said, "you'd better put the ball back." he hurriedly put it back and improved his behavior for the rest of their toy store visit.