Stevenisms: 5-21-01

this time it's in writing! as those who know steven are well aware, steven tends to talk A LOT! he is getting in trouble at school, so we are trying to teach him to control his urge to talk. i set the timer for 1 hour and told him not to talk until the hour was over or i would set it back and he would have to start the hour over. i told him that if he really needed to communicate, he could write it down. since he is only in kindergarten, he doesn't have adequate spelling abilities to express his needs. the following are his communications during that hour (with translation in parenthesis):

1. Wi du We haf to go git the sokr hsrt on Munday

(Why do we have to go get the soccer shirt on Monday?)

2. ("k" and "kan" are crossed out as he figured out that it starts with "c")

Can I hld the dog Wol u brush it

(Can I hold the dog while you brush it?)

3. Can I git u pop-sikl

(Can I get a popsicle)

4. Can I git the dog's thiu to put it on it!

(Can I get the dog's thing (inverted 'n') to put it on it?--he was referring to the dog's hair clip)

5. (asked if he wants an apple:)

if sha r green

(not sure what 'sha' is, but he meant if the apple is green he wants it)

6. Can I go alt sid

(Can I go out side?)

7. (told to write his address:)

1104 Rivrwok Way 29063

(1104 Riverwalk Way, skipped city and state and put the zip code)

8. (told to write the city and state:)

We did not do Rmosal 29063

(we couldn't figure out what he meant, so told him to write it again)

We did not do Rmo Salth CoRUlinu

(now we got it: We did not do Irmo, South Carolina (when he had to write his address earlier))

If you think I am demanding to make him write his address, it was one of the things that was part of his end of year kindergarten testing and will be expected at the beginning of first grade. he also is required to know how to do research on the internet. my boss can't even do research on the internet! so, yesterday, he researched frogs and butterflies.

when i was giving him a bath, he was telling me how much he loved me. he said, "i love you more than the sun. well, more that the moon, anyway. but the sun gives us light. you know." sigh. i just can't compete with the sun. light is so necessary. you know.

we made gingerbread men yesterday. he ate the gingerbread legs first so the gingerbread man couldn't run away. he said that it would be running funny since it would be running on its hands. i ate it's stomach and then took the next piece up. he said,"you just ate his ribs." gotta watch out for those gingerbread ribs. you could choke on one of those ribs. i hear they are good with barbecue.

i acted like i was going to put icing on his nose. he laughed and asked me to really put a dot on his nose. so i squirted a bunch of icing on his nose and then made him icing eyebrows. they were crooked, so when he looked in the mirror, he said, "i'm the angry gingerbread man!" i had to laugh every time i looked at him with those icing eyebrows and big white nose.

he mopped the wood floor in the living room Sunday. i went out to look at it. there were little footprints all over where he walked over the area he had just mopped. we'll have to work on that.

I previously wrote about his tirade on slavery when he had to pick up sticks in the back yard. he is apparently gathering support for his munchkin revolt. when i went in for the end-of-year conference with his teacher, she told me that another boy in the class very dramatically protested to her that "you treat us like slaves! you make us do so much work and you don't even pay us." i can only imagine what else he has his classmates telling their parents.